Hope's Musical Life
by darkness-chiara-of-feels
Summary: Hope is going through a lot of feelings as a teen, and it just so happens that there's always a song that can parallel it in some way. Very angsty AU.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everybody! Chiara here. This is my first attempt at a fan fiction, so I hope that you like! I don't wanna talk too much here, I'll save that for after the chapter is done with. So, without anymore stalling.

Chapter 1- Unrequited Love (_Kissing Families_, Silversun Pickups)

Hope walked down his block, thoughts rushing through his head at the date before. His mother had pretty much forced him to go outside, insisting it was _such_ a beautiful day today, and Hope finally agreed when he realized that that meant he could think without his mother interrupting him every three minutes.

"Beautiful day?" Hope muttered to himself. "If it's so beautiful today, why do I feel so crappy?"

Meteorologically, it actually was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, there were no clouds today, and even though it was the middle of September, temperatures mulled about at 75 degrees. But it could've just as well been a snowstorm that day and Hope wouldn't have noticed. The only thing he could think about was the object of his one-sided affections.

Vanille.

She was the most beautiful girl Hope had met at school so far, and he'd actually worked up the courage yesterday to tell her how he felt. But as nicely as she had refuted him, he still felt terribly sad; and when he found out that the object of her affections was that overrated "hunky" senior Snow Villiers, he also felt a mixture of anger. Everyone liked Snow. What was so great about Snow? Was Hope to understand that all one had to do was be tall and muscley and wear a ridiculous bandana on your head indoors to have every girl in school fawning over you like a lost puppy?

_Soon you'll be there too…_

Hope knew he would probably never be like Snow. He was short and skinny. Not that he wanted to be like Snow, anyway. He liked his bandanas around his neck, thank you very much.

_Kissing families can become a program to derail us all._

Hope had reached the park now, and since today was Saturday, he saw all manner of parents with their kids. Hope wanted kids someday, particularly a son, who he could teach everything he knew about physics and random trivia. But at the rate he was going, that would never happen. Everyone had someone except for him.

_…it's been safe 'til now. It's no wonder that we live this way, kept looking forward on paths sideways…_

When he was a child, Hope didn't have any of these problems; as long as he was under the protective eye of his mother, he was a happy child. Ever since he started high school, he'd been introduced to a whole lot of problems that he hadn't an inkling on how to solve. All of a sudden, he missed his blissful ignorance, the naïveté of childhood.

_… this can be the bitter end. I know it won't._

Of course, maybe if Hope would grow- his father promised him he was due for a spurt any day now- and he could be stronger by helping his mom lift those heavy grocery bags, He could get there, with a little willpower.

_It's everything that is connected, and beautiful…_

Vanille was beautiful. Everyone thought Snow was beautiful. Why would they not be a perfect match? Hope was insignificant. Not many people even knew he existed..

_…and now I know just where I stand._

Yes, that was it. Hope would never have her. He'd just have to settle for one of the plainer girls; shame on him for choosing someone so special when he was nothing special.  
Thank God it's over.

Okay, I'm back!  
I hope that I captured Hope's personality. You know, his sulkiness, his hatred for Snow, and so on;  
This story is going to be Hope-centric, but I'll see if I can fit everyone else in here at least once, especially Noel and company, since my husband promised me he'd go buy 13-2 this weekend like he's been telling me since forever ^_^  
As mentioned earlier, this is my first fan fiction, so I would really really like it if you guys told me how I'm doing so far, especially since English is not my first language, I know there are some technicalities in here that you guys are just DYING to point out.


	2. Chapter 2

Just a quick note that I forgot to put in: italicized sections are lyrics, but single italicized words are just for emphasis. But you knew that already didn't you. Also, be prepared for cameos.

Chapter 2- At School (Walking Backwards, The Futureheads)

_Sometimes it feels like we are walking backwards up a mountain. Sometimes it feels like we don't know which way to go._

As Hope exited his mother's van and waved to her, he had to admit to himself that he had no idea where he'd go from here. Vanille was in his first period, and he just wasn't strong enough to see her after the way things had ended up on Friday. But an Estheim had never ditched class before, so he just walked around aimlessly for a few minutes, unsure of what to do. He had just thought of the oh-so-original plan of hanging out in the nurse's office for the whole first period complaining about something or other, when he heard a voice whisper to him from a crevice, "Psst! Over here!"

_We made a promise to keep our mouths shut, stay out of the way._

Hope looked in both directions before wiggling into the crevice and coming into contact with two girls. The one who spoke to him had silver hair and crimson eyes; he recognized her from his art class. Her name was Paine. "Hi, Paine," he said subsequently.

"Hey, Hope," replied Paine. "That's Lulu. But, listen, I was in the vicinity when that preppy girl you hit on turned you down for that Snow guy."

Hope cringed. Paine continued, "I think that was pretty cool though, that you told her how you feel. I can respect that. You wanna hang out with us?"

Hope's cringe turned into a smile. The only thing he had close to a friend was Maqui, who filled him in on assignments when he wasn't able to come to school. "Sure," Hope agreed.

"Okay, but you can't tell anyone about this place or what we do here, promise?" Paine extended her hand.

"Promise," Hope agreed, accepting the handshake.

_That promise went too far, that promise went too far today._

"So what _do_ you guys do here anyway?" asked Hope.

"Rituals; right now, we're about to summon the dead," Lulu informed him. "It only takes about half of first period, but with you here, it might extend to three-quarters, assuming you want to join in."

"Um… I'll jump in when you guys do something a little less death-y," Hope said uneasily.

_Walking backwards, with nothing to say. Walking backwards, backwards, to get out of the way!_

Hope stayed with the two girls for the first two periods. At the end of second, he walked toward his locker; he had Phys Ed for third, and had to retrieve his uniform. He was just heading to the gymnasium when he collided with Vanille.

"Hi, Hope!" she said cheerily. "You weren't in first period today- I was worried! Are you alright?"

Hope's legs began to grow numb. He didn't know what to say, or if he should say anything at all. He wasn't even aware of his feet steadily carrying him backward until he fell into another person.

_Sometimes it feels like we are stabbing in the dark with nothing to say._

Hope opened his eyes to see a girl smiling down at him, with long pink hair pulled into a side ponytail and captivating blue eyes. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked, "You ran into me."

"I…uh…I…" Hope couldn't even begin a sentence. Finally, he just settled on, "I'm Hope."

"I'm Serah," she replied. "Come on, I'll help you up."

_At least we're both alive. Life's what you make it… but trouble is never far. Trouble is never far away._

"Hey, you have Phys Ed this period, so do I!" Serah said delightedly. "We can walk together!"

"Um… okay," agreed Hope.

Today the class was outdoors, so Hope decided to jog around the track. It was the only thing he was good at. Serah joined him, smiling, and when they were done she put his arm around him as they walked back into the building, and Hope tried his best to ignore the feeling that someone was watching him.

_  
Did I just ship Serah with Hope? Whoa, I'm not too sure Lightning will be very happy about that ;)  
Don't worry, this IS a Hope/Vanille story, but why would he get the girl right away? That's boring. Put on your seatbelts, cause this is gonna be a wild one!  
Remember to leave a review, so you could make the authoress so very very happy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys, I'm back! Thanks for all the glorious reviews and such, and a special thank you to** legionfulminante (ha, Eternal Sonata) for helping me with better English, as well as recommending a song!  
Oh, and this was brought up in the reviews: I'm sorry if the title of this story is confusing. I'd love to make a musical from scratch, but I'm just not that musically talented. I was trying to think of a clearer title, but I couldn't get one. Suggestions are welcome.  
Without further ado: here, have some Hope feels.

* * *

Chapter 3- The Upside of it All (_Galileo (Someone Like You)_, Josh Groban)

It was Friday now, and throughout the whole week Hope had been spending a lot of time with Serah. She was really good at art, which was Hope's weak point, so even after school they would spend time together imparting their wisdom upon each other. Hope enjoyed the time he spent with her, and had come to the conclusion that if he couldn't have Vanille, he'd be just fine with Serah. As the old saying went: "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

_Galileo fell in love as a Galilean boy, and he wondered what in heaven who invented such a joy._

Hope was happy, as he started on his walk back home. It was a lengthy walk, so he always thought about things to keep his mind busy. The little voice inside his head began its monologue: "I wonder who the first person to fall in love was. I wonder if they misinterpreted it at first- if initially, they thought it was just an upset stomach… or manic depression."

Hope chuckled to himself. Why was he always so amusing when no one else was around?

"Well, whoever it was, I know they're not around now, but I'd like to thank them in spirit. Thank you, First-Person-To-Fall-In-Love person. You've blazed a trail that even plain, little teenagers like me can follow."

_But the question got the better of his scientific mind…_

"There's one thing I don't get about love, though. Last weekend, it was the reason I was in a funk. This weekend, it's the reason I'm walking on air. How is it that one emotion can ignite a chain of so many different others? It doesn't make any sense. For example, when I'm confused about something, it can branch off into either happiness or disappointment, depending on how that confusion is resolved. When I'm nervous, it can become relief or anxiety. But love, it can turn into any other emotion, really, on a whim. Why is that?"

Hope was home now, so he sat on his front doorstep and held his head. He'd given himself a headache.

_…he'd look up high, and often sigh, and sometimes cry…_

Hope's mother Nora came home soon after that, and noticed her son outside. "Is something wrong, Hope?" she asked.

He looked up at his mother. "Mom, why is it that love is the only emotion that can segue into any other?"

"Hmm." She had to think about this one; Hope always asked the good questions. "I think it might be because it's so easy for people to feel the best they've ever felt in their lives with love. Such a good feeling shouldn't come easy, right? Everything has a price, as they say."

Hope knew that wasn't a definitive answer deep down inside, but something in his mother's words made him feel as if it was. His mother always had that effect on him.

_Who dreamt up someone so divine; someone like you, and made them mine?_

According to a few old friends' rules, Hope and Serah were now a couple. Sure, that had been while Hope was in middle school, but in retrospect that was only a few months ago, so that rule had to still be in effect, right? Right. He couldn't wait until Monday.

When Monday came around, Hope met up with Serah in the field before school. "Where are we going today?" he asked her. "I hope you don't think I'm a bad person, but I overheard you telling a friend about a date? Maybe someday we could double." (Hope thought that sounded weird.)

"But, Hope, we're not a couple," Serah said, innocent confusion in her voice.

"We… we're not?" asked Hope. "But we've been spending a lot of time together for a whole week!"

"Um, yes. Yes, we have." Serah sighed, as if she'd just got done with her laps in gym. "Hope, I think there's something you need to know."

* * *

**Oooh, cliffhanger! Do you see what I'm doing here? From now on, the first line of my notes will be** bolded, and there will be a divide, so that you can tell them apart from the actual story. This note will be longer than usual, since I have to clear up some issues that were brought up in the reviews.  
I hadn't given much thought to the actual ages to the characters' ages, simply the year they're in. Hope, Vanille, and Serah are all in their first year, and Snow is a senior. I guess that would make Lightning and Fang the same year as he is, but I'm a little confused about where that would leave Noel (I finally started playing 13-2!)  
I hate that I had to chop that song up so much to fit the chapter, but it was really hard to find one (and this is coming from someone with more than 400 songs in their iTunes!)  
Here's a fun fact about when I was writing this chapter: the word "segue" is originally an Italian word (which is my first language) and I thought it was spelled "segway" in English, like the scooter. So I went to look up "segway" and it wasn't in the dictionary, so I'm freaking out like "how the hell do you say this word in English?!" then I found out that it's still "segue."  
Yes, Chiara went crazy while writing this chapter. 'Course, if you kindly leave a review it would all be worth it.


End file.
